Three Questions to Ask Before It's Too Late
Sarah White
Aug 10, 2025
8 min read
Conversations
Starting the Conversation
The hardest part isn't recording — it's starting. Many of us freeze when we sit down with a parent or grandparent, unsure what to ask. The good news? You don't need a script. You just need three simple questions.
I've tested these questions with dozens of families. They work with 90-year-old grandmothers and 50-year-old fathers. They open doors that formal interviews never could. And they often lead to stories you've never heard before.
The key is simplicity. These aren't interrogation questions. They're invitations. They give your loved one permission to share, to remember, to be heard.
The Science Behind the Questions
Psychologists have found that open-ended questions about personal experiences activate different parts of the brain than factual questions. When you ask 'What's your earliest memory?' you're not asking for facts — you're asking for emotion, for sensation, for story.
This is why these three questions work so well. They bypass the 'what should I say?' filter and go straight to the heart.
Starting the Conversation
The hardest part isn't recording — it's starting. Many of us freeze when we sit down with a parent or grandparent, unsure what to ask. The good news? You don't need a script. You just need three simple questions.
I've tested these questions with dozens of families. They work with 90-year-old grandmothers and 50-year-old fathers. They open doors that formal interviews never could. And they often lead to stories you've never heard before.
The key is simplicity. These aren't interrogation questions. They're invitations. They give your loved one permission to share, to remember, to be heard.
The Science Behind the Questions
Psychologists have found that open-ended questions about personal experiences activate different parts of the brain than factual questions. When you ask 'What's your earliest memory?' you're not asking for facts — you're asking for emotion, for sensation, for story.
This is why these three questions work so well. They bypass the 'what should I say?' filter and go straight to the heart.
You don't need a fancy setup or a professional interviewer. You just need these three questions.
A photograph captures a moment. A voice captures a soul.
You don't need a fancy setup or a professional interviewer. You just need these three questions.
A photograph captures a moment. A voice captures a soul.
Question 1: What's your earliest memory?
This question opens a door to their childhood — a time they rarely get to revisit. You'll hear about homes long demolished, friends long gone, and moments that shaped who they became.
When I asked my grandmother this question, she paused for a long moment. Then she told me about a morning in Dublin when she was four years old. She was standing in the kitchen, watching her mother make bread, and she remembered thinking 'This is the safest place in the world.'
That one memory contained her entire relationship with home, with her mother, with security. I would never have known it if I hadn't asked.
Question 2: What was the happiest day of your life?
This invites them to share joy. Maybe it was a wedding, the birth of a child, or a simple Sunday afternoon that felt perfect. These are the stories that remind us what matters.
Be prepared for surprises. The happiest day might not be the one you expect. My father's wasn't his wedding or my birth — it was a random Tuesday fishing with his own father when he was twelve. That fishing trip taught me more about him than any milestone ever could.
Question 3: What do you want future generations to know about you?
This is legacy. This is the wisdom they want to pass on. This is often the question that brings tears — and the most meaningful answers.
This question gives your loved one permission to be remembered. It says: 'Your life matters. Your wisdom matters. What you've learned deserves to be passed on.'
The answers to this question become treasures. They're the messages your grandchildren will hear when they need guidance. They're the words that will echo through generations.
Question 1: What's your earliest memory?
This question opens a door to their childhood — a time they rarely get to revisit. You'll hear about homes long demolished, friends long gone, and moments that shaped who they became.
When I asked my grandmother this question, she paused for a long moment. Then she told me about a morning in Dublin when she was four years old. She was standing in the kitchen, watching her mother make bread, and she remembered thinking 'This is the safest place in the world.'
That one memory contained her entire relationship with home, with her mother, with security. I would never have known it if I hadn't asked.
Question 2: What was the happiest day of your life?
This invites them to share joy. Maybe it was a wedding, the birth of a child, or a simple Sunday afternoon that felt perfect. These are the stories that remind us what matters.
Be prepared for surprises. The happiest day might not be the one you expect. My father's wasn't his wedding or my birth — it was a random Tuesday fishing with his own father when he was twelve. That fishing trip taught me more about him than any milestone ever could.
Question 3: What do you want future generations to know about you?
This is legacy. This is the wisdom they want to pass on. This is often the question that brings tears — and the most meaningful answers.
This question gives your loved one permission to be remembered. It says: 'Your life matters. Your wisdom matters. What you've learned deserves to be passed on.'
The answers to this question become treasures. They're the messages your grandchildren will hear when they need guidance. They're the words that will echo through generations.
Conclusion
You don't need hours. You don't need perfect audio. You just need to start. These three questions can capture a lifetime in a single conversation.
Pick up your phone. Sit down with someone you love. Ask the first question. Then listen.
What you record today will be a gift to every generation that comes after you. Three questions. One conversation. A lifetime preserved.
Join the UNA movement and share the stories you discover.
Blogs
Check Out Other Articles
Stories of loss, love, and the importance of preserving the voices that matter most.
Blogs
Check Out Other Articles
Stories of loss, love, and the importance of preserving the voices that matter most.
Blogs
Check Out Other Articles
Stories of loss, love, and the importance of preserving the voices that matter most.
Every Voice Matters
The stories inside your family won't wait forever. Start preserving them — one song, one question, one moment at a time.
65+ Songs
6 Albums
5+ Streaming Platforms
Every Voice Matters
The stories inside your family won't wait forever. Start preserving them — one song, one question, one moment at a time.
Every Voice Matters
The stories inside your family won't wait forever. Start preserving them — one song, one question, one moment at a time.